How to Live Your Best Life - The Goal Digger Lifestyle Mission Statement

This is a guide to better your life. In this blog, I will share with you the secrets to loving yourself enough to want something more out of life. By taking any of the advice in this blog you can rise above the situation you are currently in. Most of these suggestions work best if you are young, but there will be a how-to blog on a lot of different paths that lead to a better life so no matter your age you can choose what path works best for you. It is never too late to make a positive change in your life. One of the most harmful attitudes to have is to expect that anything that is not instantly gratifying is not worth it. Change your attitude from “that’s going to take forever.” to “the sooner I start, the sooner I finish.” and amazing things can happen. This one tiny little change in attitude can make a world of difference.

The first and most important thing you need to change if you want to change your whole life is to change your attitude. You need to learn how to be more of a positive person and how to identify and excommunicate toxic people from your life. Until you do that, your life will never change. You have to want it for you and do it for you and no one else. If you commit yourself to bettering your attitude you can better your life and this blog is meant to show you how.

Living in poverty sucks and it usually is not something most people can overcome. The hardest part of overcoming poverty is overcoming the misconception that you are in your current situation because you do not deserve anything better out of life. If you hear something enough you start to believe it and when you are trying your hardest and doing your best to better your life these words are like a knife in your heart. When you grow up around people who are struggling to survive your perception of success becomes distorted. You start to see survival itself as success and for everyone else who has never been poor, that is completely unacceptable.

I have been poor and the most crippling thing that I had to overcome is understanding and accepting the division of classes. When you are someone who grew up below the poverty line or lower-middle-class anyone from a higher social class has a tendency to look down on you. They are miseducated about people in your situation and they cannot possibly understand what you are going through.

I would talk to successful people and NOT ONE OF THEM became successful on their own, yet most make no effort to help others. Especially those who need it most. Either their family had money or a family friend or relative gave them an opportunity to make a ton of money. Because of this, they do not know what it is like to start from the bottom. They had a “head start” in life. In conversation, it would come up that I was a waitress and they would look at me like it was a disease I had.

The successful people I spoke with would ask me things like “why don’t you get a friend to hook you up with a good job?” and the answer is because all my friends are broke like me. I had a habit of following that question up with, “you’re successful, why don’t you hook me up?” and it was always responded too with laughter as if to say please, you ARE the help, I’m not going to help you. Most well to do people do not want to help people unless helping the less fortunate benefits them in some way.

Life in this country is no longer about raising a family, it’s all about providing for a family you hardly ever get to see. So if you want a family, be smart and don’t put the cart before the horse. Meaning don’t start a family before you are able to provide for one. In the meantime, look out for #1, and if a family is what you really want it will come to you in due time. This blog was made with the intention of teaching any and everyone how to build a foundation to do anything you want to do in life. It’s time to break the cycle of single parents being the norm and try something new.

No one who grew up in a house with both parents had a great life because of the simple fact both parents are present, it’s better to grow up with both parents because that means both parents work, or one makes enough money so that both don’t have to work. It’s all about money. Yes, people with money have human relationship problems just like everyone else but the strain the lack of money has on a relationship is unbearable.

Nothing worth having comes easy and nothing will be handed too you, you need to work hard. Pick a path and ask a lot of questions. Here is a list of things you can do when you come from nothing. Each section below will have its own article on how to do all of the following paths that lead out of poverty. What no one ever tells you when you grow up impoverished is that you can be anything you want just like everyone else. It’s harder to do when you do not have a support system but harder is not the same as impossible.

“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!”. ― Audrey Hepburn

How to get the fuck out of poverty. Here are a few roads that will lead you out of poverty. Choose any of the following and I will give out step by step instructions on how to achieve that dream.

• Get a Job • Build a career without a college degree • Learn a trade • Invent something • Be a Gold Digger • Be a stripper/web model- (The right way) • Become a landlord- (AKA How to buy a home) • Become a musician/entertainer • Become a Professional Athlete • Write a bestselling book or screenplay • Win the lottery • BONUS: How to Adult- From doing taxes to building a good credit score

Always remember that no matter what you do, right or wrong, good or bad, somebody will always talk shit. Learn to block that shit out and focus on your path. With this blog, I hope to create a community of support for people who have no support system, follow me on social media and be a part of the Goal Digger Lifestyle.

About me I grew up in a part of Denver Colorado referred to as Little Mexico. More drug murders happen in the neighborhood I grew up in than any other neighborhood in Colorado. My father was a warehouse worker and my mother was a deli manager. I had 2 younger siblings and for the first 12 years of my life, we shared a room in my grandmother’s basement. Throughout my life, we went from being dirt poor to being middle class. If it wasn’t for my grandparent's things would have been much worse.

I didn’t have a college fund, my parents weren’t homeowners, and didn’t rub shoulders with business owners. When you grow up poor you are conditioned to accept that this is all you are and all you will ever be. I am writing this to tell you it’s possible to be more. Unfortunately, you have to work harder than everyone who was born in a nicer part of town than you were. It’s hard but it’s possible and it’s worth it.

I once dated a guy who could not understand how things were so bad for me. He couldn’t understand how I wasn’t “trying” to be successful. The truth was that where I came from I was successful. I only had one baby and one baby daddy, I wasn’t in jail, have no felonies on my record, and had a roof over my head, I thought I was successful. From my understanding of the world and from my perspective, I was succeeding in life because I was surviving. He had a pretty nice upbringing, his parents had money, he grew up in the suburbs, he went to nice schools, his brother was married with 2 kids, had the same job working as a mechanic with his father since he graduated high school. His best friend had a job with an oil company, making 6 figures a year that his aunt got him right out of high school.

All his friends had money so the success he and his peers had in life was very different from the success of me and mine. They were homeowners in their 20’s, working jobs that made over 75k a year, they all drove European cars etc.. His view of the world and success was so different from mine, he didn’t understand how I hadn’t taken advantage of the opportunities I had been given. He had no idea that those opportunities did not exist. For him and his friends, everything was just handed to them. His car broke down, his mom let him borrow her spare car until she could buy him another car, he was 30 years old. He wanted to take his DJ “career” seriously, his mom bought him equipment.

I came from shit, had shit, and was so lost and alone when I met this asshole that I didn’t even notice that he was constantly putting me down by comparing me to other people. These people had opportunities literally just handed to them. I had a buddy I used to smoke weed with that got me an interview to be a part-time cocktail waitress at a pool hall. Those were my kinds of connections and opportunities. When I met this asshole, my fiancé had abandoned me with the baby, my car broke down in a Wal-Mart parking lot and I couldn’t afford a tow so I left it there and it was eventually impounded, couldn’t afford to get it out so I lost the car, I was a live-in nanny and quit my job because I hated these bratty kids, I moved back in with my mother, so I was sharing a room with my daughter in my mother's apartment. I literally had nothing of my own, I was 26 years old.

When I met this guy I had a place to live a car and a job, as soon as those things were gone he wasn’t so sure he wanted to date me. This asshole was giving me shit about all I didn’t have and I let him because I had no self-esteem. Also, he never lifted a pinky to try and help me. He still wanted to sleep with me but he was really no friend to me. He had all these successful friends he was comparing me to and he never once asked one of them if they knew of an entry-level position anywhere. He wouldn’t even let me come to his house to chill until I found another job. When I got back up on my feet, he started coming around more. When I was at my lowest he kicked me when I was down. Over the next 5 years, this relationship would become abusive but the good news is I got out.

I found a job in a call center for a mortgage company. I hated call centers but the job was very close to my mother’s apartment and the pay was awesome, so I sucked it up and went for it. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. After a year I was promoted to a Loan Officer assistant. After about 8 months of doing that I was promoted again to a position in mortgage compliance. I went from an entry-level position making $12 an hour to making twice that in a matter of 2 years.

I was paying the rent on the apartment I shared with my abusive boyfriend and finally realized enough is enough. I moved out and took over the lease in my mother’s apartment. She was moving out so I moved in. For the next year and a half, I learned to live life on my own. It was just me, my daughter, and my dog. She was originally the family dog but Tallulah Belle ended up with me.

In January of 2015, I met my husband on Plenty of Fish and married him and his 3 children in November of that year. In 2016 I started a new job as a corporate secretary for a nonprofit organization and in June we bought a house in the burbs and now I write this blog. Our kids go to school in one of the best school districts in the country. We have 3 cars, a beautiful home, that we share with 4 kids 2 cats, and 2 dogs. I would never have imagined that my life would be as amazing and awesome as it is now. (EDIT: We divorced in July of 2020. He was a covert narcissist and I have just finished a novel about my life and all my horrific and awful abusive relationships, including this marriage.)

Every day I wake up and I am so thankful that I never gave up and never settled. I took a chance on a job that I wouldn’t have normally done and it gave me the opportunity to prove myself by working my way up from the bottom. I had invested 5 years into a bullshit relationship and as hard as it was to walk away, I did it. I have no doubt in my mind that if I had stayed I would be dead now. Think of the psychological effect that would have had on my daughter. She witnessed some shit no little kid should need to see. The very least I could do was apologize and change our situation. I did and she’s never been happier nor have I. I walked away from a mentally and physically abusive relationship and if I never had the courage to do that I would never have met my wonderful husband who spoils me rotten, not just with the finer things in life but he spoils me with love, respect, affection, attention, and support.

You too can better your life and leave your shitty situation far behind you if you believe in yourself and refuse to be ruled by your circumstances. YOU as a person, YOU as an individual are not your situation. YOU and only YOU have the power to change it all but it’s going to be a lot of hard work. I am here to walk you through it and teach you how to build your own support system and change your life. It’s never too late and no matter what anyone says you can be anything you want to be! Anyone can do anything given the right tools for the job. I’m here to share some knowledge with you, if there is one thing I know, it’s how to change your life for the better. Give it a shot, you literally have nothing to lose.