top of page

How to Get a Job When You're Broke AF


Getting a job is more challenging nowadays than it used to be. Especially if you come from a modest background and have no experience. As mentioned in the previous blog a challenge is not the same as impossible so buck up and get your ass in the game. The first thing you need is some sort of legal identification card. If you cannot get a driver’s license you still need to go to the DMV, with 2 forms of ID (birth certificate, social security card and or passport. Different states have different rules so check the website before you head out.) and get a state-issued ID. If you are a minor you will need a parent or guardian to accompany you. (NOTE: Your parent needs to be one of the people on your birth certificate or needs legal documentation that they are responsible for you. Unfortunately, grandma, grandpa, stepmom or dad doesn’t cut it unless they legally adopted you. The same goes for obtaining a US passport. I am not discriminating on anyone who cannot get a legal ID, I just have not had the experience of trying to find employment without legal documentation. I think anyone who is willing to work in this country and pays taxes should be given the opportunity to work regardless of their legal residency. But that’s just me.) Now that you have documentation that you are a legal citizen, let’s start looking for a job.

So back in my day you would go around to different places and fill out a ton of applications. Some bigger chains still allow you to fill out an application on a computer in the store. Target and Best Buy are 2 I can think of off the top of my head that have a place that you can fill out an application in the store. If you walk into a store and ask for an application you will most likely be told you have to do it online. When filling out a job application never put “see resume” on any section of your application. When seeking fulltime employment always mark that you are available to work all shifts. Most people have smartphones but filling out an application on your phone is a pain. So, if you do not have a computer your best bet is to go to the library. Don’t have a library card you say? Now you can get one with your ID. Just walk into a library in the county you reside in and ask for a card. Once you have a library card you are welcome to use the computers at the library. You can also use the library computer to create a resume. If the computer has Word, search for resume templates in Word, there are a ton. When using a community computer be sure to delete your resume before you leave. If you email it to yourself from the library computer you will always have a copy. Also, do not forget to log out of your email before you leave the library. Closing the window does not log you out. Make sure you log out.

Where should I apply?

You ain’t never getting out the hood if you working at Wal-Mart forever. Wal-Mart has those low prices because they pay dick and treat their employees like shit. But there is nothing wrong with starting at the bottom and working your way up, that’s what this blog is all about. If you get a job at Wal-Mart stay at Wal-Mart for at least 2 years. Job stability is very important to other employers, credit bureaus and underwriters of mortgage loans. If you’re going to get a job in customer service or manual labor I would recommend you get a union job. Most union jobs guarantee regular pay increases and will give you a lot of opportunities to advance your position the longer you stay with the job. “90% of success is just showing up.” If you show up and show up on time it’s practically impossible to get fired from a union job, but union jobs are hard to find. Most large corporation grocery stores have a union. Union jobs also include but are not limited to most trade jobs like utility work, electricians and plumbers etc. Transportation jobs such as bus drivers and train conductors and maintenance etc. Construction and manufacturing jobs, education and telecommunication jobs also will usually have a union but all companies are different. Once you have experience in one of these jobs it opens up a lot of doors so you can start at Wal-Mart and move to a better paying job for a better company now that you have experience. I used to know this bitch who’s first job was at Safeway as a deli clerk when she was 17. By the time she was 22, she was a department manager. All she did to be considered for a promotion was not call in excessively and always showed up on time. A department manager can make like 35-45k a year.

Don’t expect to get a job that pays that 35-45k a year right out the gate, you need to be realistic. Take an entry level position at any job that is offered to you and once you’re in, make it a point to always be aware of positions that open up in the company. Start from the bottom and work your way up. Always have a plan and an end goal set in place. Imagine your career as a landscape you’re trying to paint. Make sure you have a good “picture” of the job you eventually want and learn as much as you can about the job requirements. You can’t paint a landscape of a place you’ve never seen. Get a good idea of where you are going and don’t give up until you get there but be realistic. Don’t think that you can go from bagging groceries to GM in a year or so. If you want to be GM expect that journey to take you at least 15 years.

Here are lists of some of the best companies with entry-level positions and opportunities to work your way up within the company.

• Starbucks- Starbucks is at the top of the list because Starbucks has great benefits and will pay for your college education. - Apply for Barista • Verizon Wireless- Apply for Sales Associate • UPS- Apply for Package Handler • USPS- Apply for mail carrier, mail handler, mail processor and mail clerk • FedEx- Apply for Package Handler/Warehouse • Kroger- Apply for Caddy or Cashier • Safeway- Apply for Caddy or Cashier

Make sure you make yourself an account on Linked in and Indeed. Both sites have a ton of listings for jobs. Both websites give potential employers the opportunity to look at your resume. Indeed will send you job opportunities every day, apply to at least 4 open positions every day and you will start getting interviews.

How to Ace a Job Interview

• Appearance 1. Make sure your hair is done, your nails are clean and preferably painted. 2. Dress like you don’t need a job. No matter the position or company you are interviewing for dress business casual or Sunday best. Business casual or church clothes, this means slacks or a knee-length or longer skirt and preferably a nice blouse with a collar or a sweater and avoid cleavage. Make sure you don’t go over the top #avoid cocktail and prom dresses. Dress more business than casual. 3. HIDE YOUR GHETTO! No tracksuits and chains, hide your tattoos etc. Take it easy on the makeup, not too much lip liner and make sure your eyebrows are not on fleek. Go for a more natural look.

4. If you do not have anything business casual you can find “interview” and or “office clothes” at your nearest consignment store. If you can’t afford to buy new/used clothes, ask a friend if you can borrow some clothes.

5. If none of these options are available to you just do your best and keep it as low key as possible.

• Show up at least 10 minutes early.• Always extend your right hand for a firm handshake and be sure to make strong and consistent eye contact while shaking hands and introducing yourself. (Before the invention of toilet paper people used their left hand to wipe the shit off their ass. Extending the left hand for a handshake is consider disrespectful for that reason.)

• Never talk bad about a previous employer or anyone at all for that matter.

• Keep your responses to questions to the point and try and keep your responses under 2 minutes.• Have a canned response for what your strengths and weaknesses are.

• Ask questions about the company not related to pay and benefits. When the interview is over, ask when you can start.

Apply all these steps and you are just about guaranteed to get any job (within reason) that you apply for.

Real talk fam, STOP SMOKING WEED! It takes at least 2 weeks for THC to exit your system, 4 weeks if you are a heavy smoker. Most pharmacy’s and grocery stores sell drug tests so if you go cold turkey you can take one of these tests to make sure the THC has completely left your system. If you don’t have 2-4 weeks before your test you need to buy something to clean out your system. Read the reviews before making a purchase and don’t fall for that home remedy bullshit. Vinegar and excessive amounts of water to delude your urine will not work. THC is stored in your fat so flushing out your bladder and kidney’s is not enough. Make sure that when you buy a product you read the instructions carefully. Some products will flush out your system and keep it clean and others offer a window of clean urine. Make sure you know which is which before you make your purchase. Note that even if you buy something to clean out your system the longer you refrain from the consumption of THC the better any product will work.

Believe me, I know it’s hard, like Kat Williams says “if you ain’t got no job and you are not smoking weed I do not know what you are doing with your life. I really don’t.” But there is nothing more frustrating than losing out on a job because of harmless lil ol’cannabis. If you’re looking for a good job though, be prepared to wiz in a cup.

Featured Posts
Recent Posts
Archive
Search By Tags
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square

Join our mailing list

Never miss an update

© 2023 by Closet Confidential. Proudly created with Wix.com

bottom of page