Leaving Neverland Review

About a month ago when I walked into work, I overheard a few of the guys talking in the showroom. I overheard one say “I erased all of his music off of my music library. That shit is sick. “I love music so the comment caught my attention but had no idea who or what they were talking about so I didn’t think too much of it and promptly got to my meeting.

Later that day my coworkers (the one who was talking about his music library) asked me if I had watched Leaving Neverland? I said no, then thought about it and followed up with “…but it is on my watch list”. Which it was. I have loved Michael Jackson’s music as long as I can remember and who didn’t. If you were alive in the 1980s and early ’90s, you loved Michael Jackson or you were not cool. So, when browsing through content on HBO I saw the title, had no idea what it was about but was interested because I loved Michael Jackson so I added it to my watch list.

This co-worker went on to tell me that the documentary that is on my watch list is a story about 2 boys who claim to have been sexually abused by Jackson. My first thought was BULLSHIT! Michael Jackson had been accused and investigated and exonerated twice already. There is no way that this story can have ANY credibility at this point, it’s all hearsay. These people are just most likely liars and looking to gain something from the Jackson estate and poor Michael isn’t even here to defend himself. I did not say this to my co-worker but it was my initial thought when he said the documentary was about sexual abuse. Then he said let me know when you watch it. I said “I don’t know if I want to watch it now. I love Michael Jackson, I don’t want his music to be ruined for me.” He said, “you really need to watch it.”

That day was such a shitty day. I woke up that morning feeling like I was getting sick then realized my body felt like shit because I’m depressed. I struggle with depression and the past 8 days had not been really good for me. So, I went home that day and went straight to bed at 5 o’clock in the evening. Being in bed I decided to turn on the TV. I figured since I’m going to watch TV, which I usually don’t do unless it’s the weekend or bedtime, I am going to watch this bullshit and see what these little liars have to say. I’m pretty good with picking up on the subliminal ticks and tells of a liar so I thought for sure I would know if they were lying. I lied in bed and watched it. I watched it in its entirety for 4+ hours straight. When it was all over, I was stunned. I was speechless. I was traumatized. There was nothing about what I had just watched that indicated in the slightest that either one of these men was being dishonest in any way.

The most telling piece of evidence to me was their detailed accounts of the grooming. The fact is that the biggest struggle that they have dealt with through the years was that they both still really love Michael Jackson as a person. Although they are coming to terms with the fact that they were sexually abused, they were unable to define what had happened to them as abuse when they were still children. They did not realize that what was happening was wrong because they did not experience physical trauma that most people would define as abuse. They were manipulated and for a child that’s a really complicated thing to grasp.

They loved Michael not only for the icon that he was but they adore him as a man. A kind and gentle and generous human being that made them feel loved, special, and important. They thought and felt that this man was really their friend, almost like family. Everything they experienced with Michael was a dream come true. How can their young adolescent minds grasp that what Michael was doing to them behind closed doors was wrong in any way?

A few months prior to the release of this documentary I read something about Michael Jackson once again being accused of being a pedophile. I was talking to my husband about it and I said that I thought Michael was innocent. He has gone to trial twice and been vindicated both times. If these allegations were true where are these “kids” now? Michael is dead, these kids are grown, why aren’t they writing a tell-all book or speaking out? This is basically that. This documentary is that tell all that I was wondering about. Although neither one of the men in this film is one of the 2 children who came forward in the 90s and early 2000s with accusations of sexual abuse, they are known to have spent a lot of time with Jackson and are now saying that the accusations those children made are probably true in their opinion and experience.

Leaving Neverland is a story of 2 grown men (Wade Robson and James Safechuck) trying to learn to cope with things that happen to them that they were unable to define at the time as sexual abuse. When you hear the words sexual abuse you think of physical harm but before a sexual predator lays a finger on you, they need to get into your head. They need to assault and abuse your mind. 1 in every 4 girls and 1 in every 6 boys will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18. This documentary is very important in understanding the behavior of a predator. It is not always a traumatic experience for the child at the time of abuse but when the child grows and reflects on the things that happen to them, they will realize that what this adult that they loved and trusted did to them was wrong. As a child, you are forced to trust adults so it seems impossible that an adult that you love and trust and treats you well would ever do anything to hurt you or ever do anything inappropriate or wrong in general. Sometimes it takes people a very long time to come to terms with that.

Where were the Parents at?

If you are normal at all I’m sure you have asked that question. Where were these kids parents? The answer, amazingly enough, they were pretty much in the next room. As parents, it’s our job to take care of our kids and protect them from danger. One of the most fascinating parts of this documentary was the way Michael Jackson groomed and seduced the parents too. If he was going to have the access to these kids to do what he allegedly did, he needed their parents to trust him. For almost the past 30 years I’ve been wondering how any of these things these kids said could ever be true because what kind of a parent would leave their child unsupervised for the night with an adult they didn't know?

This documentary talks to the mothers of the 2 accusers and they are able to explain why they trusted Michael so much. I think most of us are quick to blame the parents, mostly because it is their fault buuuuutt we all make mistakes. Usually not a mistake this big but their mistake did seem to come from a place of love. All parents want to do all that we can to bring happiness into our children’s lives. Their child wanted to be close to their hero and they were in a position to help their child gain that kind of friendship. They allowed something out of the ordinary to happen because Michael Jackson was an out of the ordinary person. Unless you were alive at that time I think it's really hard to grasp just how big of a deal Michael Jackson was. He was probably the most famous person on the planet at the time. Almost everyone from every walk of life knew of Michael Jackson.

How could you ever imagine in a million years someone you loved and trusted, someone your child loved and trusted and idolized would hurt your child? The whole world loved Michael Jackson. I think as parents we all have this fantasy that our kids will tell us everything and if something is wrong or someone hurt them we can fix it and protect them, but were you that forthcoming as a kid? Not to mention the fact that these kids were unaware that what was happening to them was wrong. They were taught and told by a man they trusted that it was a private matter that they shouldn’t discuss and the consequences for breaking their silence would cost them everything. These 2 men are working towards forgiving their mothers. The healing that needs to take place most of all seems to be the forgiveness they need to grant first to themselves and second to their parents.

James Safechuck- “Forgiveness isn't a line you cross, it's a road you take.”

The Jackson Family

The Jackson Family is suing Robson, Safechuck, the director of the documentary Dan Reid, and HBO for what they say are slanderous allegations against Michael Jackson's Legacy. Apparently, the Jackson family filed the suit before the documentary aired and asked that they not air the documentary but HBO felt very strongly that this story needed to be told. The family believes that these men are making these allegations up in the hopes they might gain some kind of monetary compensation. I can totally understand why they feel that way. Wade Robson stood up in court twice, once as a child and once as a grown man to defend Michael Jackson against other accusers. James Safechuck also defended Jackson once as a child, though as an adult he refused to lie for Michael again. According to Safechuck, when Michael called and asked him to defend him he told him no and it was the last time he spoke to Michael. At one point in time, both of these men stood in a courtroom and said that they had known Michael for a very long time and no inappropriate behavior had ever taken place.

It is my understanding that the director of this documentary reached out to the Jackson family so they might have a say in the matter but they were not interested in taking part in the documentary. Even though the Jackson family has always been there to support Michael in court. I think we can all agree that Michael was not a normal man and I don’t think anyone will ever really know the whole story but a little more truth about the abuse they suffered at their father’s hands might shine some light on the situation. I’m not saying Joe Jackson raped or sexually abused Michael but there are a lot of people in the entertainment industry that claim sexual abuse and assault were very common when it came to children. And the sad fact remains that most sexual predators were abused themselves as children. Oprah Special After Neverland

Oprah sits down for a screening of the documentary with the men from the documentary, Wade Robson, James Safechuck, and director Dan Reid. In addition to these 3 men, the audience that is present for this screening is made up entirely of sexual abuse survivors. It’s a very interesting piece and a lot of really good conversations about abuse are had. If you find the time to watch it after you watch this documentary, I suggest you do.

See it or Skip it?

I think everyone should see this. There has been a lot of push back online about this documentary and I encourage all of you to watch it and form your own opinion. I went into this expecting that my mind will not be changed about Michael Jackson. Although I still feel the same about him as a musician my opinion of who he was as a man has definitely changed. He was always strange, to say the least, but everyone is different and being different doesn't automatically make you a monster. These little boys who looked up to him and just wanted to be his friend. I thought he was innocent and that these rumors and allegations died with him. No matter what you think and feel there are really only 3 people who know what really happened and 1 of them is dead. The other 2 make the exact same claim in eerily similar accounts.

I thought that because Michael Jackson had been investigated and not prosecuted that he must be innocent but I think it’s very safe to say that our justice system is deeply flawed and people with money don’t have to follow the same rules as the rest of us. I mean, do innocent people hire Johnnie Cochran? Just saying. So before you go and defend Michael Jackson like I first did, you need to watch Leaving Neverland and see if it changes your opinion. Truly ask yourself if YOU would feel comfortable leaving your child to sleep in Michael Jackson's bed for the night.

I think you need to ask yourself most importantly, what kind of adult man would want to be unsupervised in bed with a child all night? Most of us would say that we would never leave our children alone with anyone and if that’s your response, then you REALLY need to watch this. The reason you would not leave your child alone with anyone is because you fear exactly what happens to these 2 boys. If it is possible for ANYONE to do this to a child why is it so impossible to think that Michael Jackson is not capable of doing this?

I’m sure a lot of you are like me and want to avoid the realization that one of your childhood heroes, a true legend may have been a monster. I think it’s very important that everyone watch this and form an opinion of their own but most importantly I think Leaving Neverland is an important reminder that we as a society need start to work harder on supporting and believing victims of abuse.